Here's where the loose association comes in. I've heard people say many a time that "the transition from having 1 child to then having 2 is the hardest parenting transition". I've heard them say that after 2 kiddos, having a 3rd child isn't all that much harder {?}. Ok, what brain child thought that one up? Obviously, I never paid this bit of witless wisdom any mind...and thankfully so! No, being a mama to 3 littles of varying ages with varying needs/ desires is a wild ride indeed! It seems that many families want their children to be close in age, therefore making the decision to have X number of kiddos while their family is still quite young...myself being one of them. Yet, what I am finding is that as my littles get older, I'm feeling the THREE-NESS more and more.
For instance, now that all 3 of my little folk can walk...what is a mama {or mama+ daddy...together!} to do when all three take off in different directions? I'm lucky in that my kiddos take mercy on me and will usually stick together...but still, it happens! And what about talking? When the Monks was small, he would jabber away + from time to time when I was working on a grad school project, I could continue what I was doing with the occassional "Mmmhumm" and he would be satisfied that I was paying attention. By the time the Fif was born, the Monks' conversations required way more participation on my part...but lucky for me, I have 2 ears! Yes, I could "Mmmmhumm" the Fif as she jabbered away + answer the Monks' queries. NOW I have 3 little folk, none of which will tolerate a "Mmmhumm" response... and still only 2 ears. Let's just say that meal times are interesting for sure!
Another aspect of THREE-NESS that has changed recently has to do with finances. Yes, we all know that having children isn't without cost. New parents-to-be are given baby showers + will think about the expense of diapers, food, clothing + doctor visits. But here's the thing...bringing the 3rd babe to the Doctor each month of the 1st year for well visits + paying the copay is manageable...bringing 3 sick littles {ages 1.5y, 4y + 7.5y} to the Doctor's because they can't keep their germs to themselves...to the tune of $75 in Copays {which is actually pretty good as copays go}...well, it sucks! I used to buy little designer soaps + would shop exclusively in health food type stores...now everyone uses the same shampoo + I shop is 5 diffferent stores to get all of what we use at the best deals...AND I shop in bulk to accomodate feeding a family of 5. Heaven help me when they are teenagers! Yeah, buying little jars of Earth's Best {or milling + jarring your own} baby food + buying teensy little clothes for a babe that sleeps 15 hours a day + whose biggest messes are food or tinkle related sounds like a D-R-E-A-M! I think that mama's should be given a kiddo shower when their kids turn 4; when shoes and clothes cost more and have a ridiculous turn over rate due to outgrowth or damage.
Please, don't get me wrong here, I LOVE being a mama, LOVE LOVE LOVE!...+ I L-O-V-E having a big{ger} family! You see, a few weeks ago, I called my husband on the way home from the shoe store. The conversation went something like this: "Honey, yeah, I just spent $99.67 on rubber shoes...Yeah, 3 pairs of Crocs for the kids....totally mental, I know..." It got me thinking about all of these other changes I've mentioned that I never really paid specific attention to before? For example, this year we registered the Monks for a summer program: $125...but next year when the Fif can go too, the cost will be $250. You know what I'm saying....and those of you that have older kiddos are thinking, "um, duh, you're just figuring this out?" Most of the Mommy Blogs I read don't touch on these things + often are written by mama's of smaller children... You know, I'm just having an epiphany...I think all of my typings here are not necessarily about how many kiddos you have, but about how VERY MUCH motherhood changes as our littles grow older! Just something younger Mommy Bloggers don't write about becasue they have yet to live through it? Yes, there is the cost; the shopping...but there is also the emotional part, the gradual loss of "control": having to work with the external influences of the media, peers, school, hormones {god help me when the Fif is a teen!} Loving these kids {no longer babies, toddlers...little folk} SO MUCH and wishing with all your heart that you could go back to that time when walking the floor boards all night would be enough to soothe away every sadness + hurt. It makes me very thankful to live in a pretty great small town; to have some amazing mama friends to swap hand-me -downs, stories, hurts + joys with. ...and speaking of, there's one of those Mama's a txt'ing me now! I promise this wasn't intended to be such a sentimental-esque, epic rant...but I find they are hard to resist when one of my kiddos has a birthday! Thanks for enduring!
xo.
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