2011 Anti-Resolution

Over the first week of the new year {last week}, I spent some time thinking about Resolutions. I had already adjusted my exercise + eating habits before the holidays started, but surely there were other things I wanted to resolve to change for the better in my life? As I pondered the idea further, I came to the realization that there is such a thing as "raising the bar too high" when it comes to striving to be the best we can be. Perhaps my resolution this year should be to embrace my imperfections + spend more time acknowledging the little successes in my life? Truth be told, I'm really just a geek...always have been + kind of happy to be! I'm sure there are people who think it is vain to have a blog all about yourself; that it can be a bit of a show-off. The irony though, is that growing up {+ today} I was never the smartest, prettiest, the most popular, the most athletic or the one with the most friends. Post age 5, I was chubby, had funny teeth + wore {ugly} glasses. As a credit to me-self, while I might not have been an ace in the conventional "book smart" kind of way, I was always very bright + insightful; an "old soul" if you will...and I was a nice girl. However, it is an unfortunate truth that how one is treated by kids {+ even grownups} during their formative years has alot to do with how adorable one is. Over the years I found myself wondering at times if infact I was just not good, adorable or smart enough? This way of thinking took it's toll on my self esteem + to protect the sensitive person I was {am}, I thought perhaps I needed to work really hard to be the absolute best that I could be, then people would think I was good + be nice to me? Typical pro-active Alison thinking, don't you agree? Ebarrassing as it is, I will admit that even as an adult, at times I have relapsed into this negative way of thinking...

But here's my little secret: Inspite of my {at times} shabby self esteem, I never really thought I wasn't pretty, or smart, or good. Perhaps it was this belief in myself that led me to explore other interests, excel in College + earn Honors {in 2 Societies to be exact} in Graduate School, have a wonderful marriage to my best-est of friends {who also happens to be a damn sexy man, if I say so me-self} and have 3 incredible littles + a beautiful home to raise them in? I feel more certain than ever this must be true, as time + again it is reinforced by wonderful friends + family, having a job I LOVE as a college professor...and even by you, the people who come to read my little typings.

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For all of these reasons, this year I will be kind to myself. This year, I will pat myself on the back for mutli-tasking, {perhaps even having too much on my plate between motherhood + work} just to be able to make ends meet financially...and I won't apologize for doing it with style. This year, I want to not care what other's think of me, or that I might be a topic of gossip....and I will not feel bad about people who aren't nice to me...maybe they just aren't nice people? This year, I'm going to stay in the moment, I will relish my time with my family + good friends; time spent doing everything + nothing at all. I'll geek out with my vegan cookbooks + I am going to embrace shopping in Target {+ making it look fabulous!} I resolve that this year I will wish to be nothing else but me...and I bet there are many of you who are qualified to make the same Resolution.

xo.