Monday, January 10, 2011

2011 Anti-Resolution

Over the first week of the new year {last week}, I spent some time thinking about Resolutions. I had already adjusted my exercise + eating habits before the holidays started, but surely there were other things I wanted to resolve to change for the better in my life? As I pondered the idea further, I came to the realization that there is such a thing as "raising the bar too high" when it comes to striving to be the best we can be. Perhaps my resolution this year should be to embrace my imperfections + spend more time acknowledging the little successes in my life? Truth be told, I'm really just a geek...always have been + kind of happy to be! I'm sure there are people who think it is vain to have a blog all about yourself; that it can be a bit of a show-off. The irony though, is that growing up {+ today} I was never the smartest, prettiest, the most popular, the most athletic or the one with the most friends. Post age 5, I was chubby, had funny teeth + wore {ugly} glasses. As a credit to me-self, while I might not have been an ace in the conventional "book smart" kind of way, I was always very bright + insightful; an "old soul" if you will...and I was a nice girl. However, it is an unfortunate truth that how one is treated by kids {+ even grownups} during their formative years has alot to do with how adorable one is. Over the years I found myself wondering at times if infact I was just not good, adorable or smart enough? This way of thinking took it's toll on my self esteem + to protect the sensitive person I was {am}, I thought perhaps I needed to work really hard to be the absolute best that I could be, then people would think I was good + be nice to me? Typical pro-active Alison thinking, don't you agree? Ebarrassing as it is, I will admit that even as an adult, at times I have relapsed into this negative way of thinking...

But here's my little secret: Inspite of my {at times} shabby self esteem, I never really thought I wasn't pretty, or smart, or good. Perhaps it was this belief in myself that led me to explore other interests, excel in College + earn Honors {in 2 Societies to be exact} in Graduate School, have a wonderful marriage to my best-est of friends {who also happens to be a damn sexy man, if I say so me-self} and have 3 incredible littles + a beautiful home to raise them in? I feel more certain than ever this must be true, as time + again it is reinforced by wonderful friends + family, having a job I LOVE as a college professor...and even by you, the people who come to read my little typings.

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For all of these reasons, this year I will be kind to myself. This year, I will pat myself on the back for mutli-tasking, {perhaps even having too much on my plate between motherhood + work} just to be able to make ends meet financially...and I won't apologize for doing it with style. This year, I want to not care what other's think of me, or that I might be a topic of gossip....and I will not feel bad about people who aren't nice to me...maybe they just aren't nice people? This year, I'm going to stay in the moment, I will relish my time with my family + good friends; time spent doing everything + nothing at all. I'll geek out with my vegan cookbooks + I am going to embrace shopping in Target {+ making it look fabulous!} I resolve that this year I will wish to be nothing else but me...and I bet there are many of you who are qualified to make the same Resolution.

xo.

3 comments:

  1. I loved this post and share the same feelings. I think it's awesome that you truly thought about what you want out of this year instead of making resolutions just to make them. Kudos to you! Following now (love your blog)!

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  2. Funny I've just read a post at Twigs and toadstool that was going the same way! http://twigandtoadstool.blogspot.com/2011/01/year-of-self-kindness.html I might sense a trend!

    I love reading your blog, even if I don't always have the time to comment. And I can relate to the child you were as well !

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